Most of us would love to have quick, simple and painless solutions to the complications that arise in our life in general, our relationships and our sexual life in particular. However, these types of solutions do not really exist.
A real, constant and sustainable change is the outcome of a learning process which includes both experimentation with our body and the cultivation of emotions that improve our communication and relationship in general. Such emotions include kindness, compassion and empathy. This is directly related to the quality of our sex life because the key to having better sex is to create a strong connection with the other person, as well as an environment in which both parties feel safe.
Since this scenario opens the opportunity for building trust and creating a space for vulnerability to express itself, it ultimately leads to deeper intimacy. Love and sex are like a dance that requires attention to the present moment, openness, receptivity and improvisation. In this sense, The following tips could help you fill your sexual life with vigor:
One: Let go of the idea of perfect sex.
This is because the moment you consider doing something perfectly, whether in bed or in any other area of your life, you are basically imposing certain kinds of results. The most important thing in sex is to leave out the desire to control things and learn to let go. The first thing you have to let go is your expectations and your desire for perfection. Then let yourself experience whatever happens.
Two: Reconsider your understanding of what it does mean to have sex.
The common idea about sex is that sex is just an intercourse; only penetration is sex, but this is not the case. Sex is also about the caresses, the kisses and the looks which are very important and make your intimate connection stronger and deeper.
Three: Learn to take care of your body.
Your general health, sleep quality and other factors affect your sexual life. So start paying attention to that body with which you navigate the world every day. Most of the time we are too stuck in our mind to do so, but if you pay attention to your body, you might be surprised at its potential.
Four: Learn to master your mind.
Many people believe that having sex is a physical process that requires the use of only our bodies. But no, in reality our mind also has a lot to do, and if you are wondering what you should do with it, it is best to try to cultivate calm, receptivity, and attention to what happens without judgments. In this sense you could start to improve your sexual life by incorporating a small daily meditation practice. You don’t need much time; you can start with just 10 minutes.
Five: Cultivate love and intimacy in your relationship.
As we mentioned at the beginning and although it sounds like a commonplace, love is the key to everything. When we don’t feel safe or don’t trust each other, our body somehow loses receptivity and closes. Having satisfactory sex requires receptivity, openness and acceptance of all physical, emotional and mental aspects of the whole experience.